15
Letters
From Lower Dittersford
My Dear Jo, wrote Mrs Urqhart, scowling and biting her pen,
It is raining Cats and Dogs so
I take up my pen to let you know our News. It is all going splendid here like
you would not Believe. First off we has young Eric Charleson what has fallen
heavy for young Susan, and I don’t say as it is not suitable, for Lord knows
the Benedicts is highly respecked in the County of Kent and if her Bro. be a
Monster, which I shall not scruple to say atween us, he be, my love, the Name
is good enough. And what were Sir W. Charleson, when all is said and done? Only
a Member of Parliament that She made buy a country seat and set himself up like
a gent. Nan is pleased enough on that account. And it is plain as the nose on
your face that Susan affecks him right back. Only the girl be too young, my
deary! Tying herself up when a girl be scarce seventeen years of age is what I do
not hold with and never did. Still, she is a sensible enough creature and do
seem to know her own Mind. He has not spoke to Nan yet though he has Look'd
volumes enough to fill a Library. Susan is the sort of girl what if Nan says she
must wait until she be turn’d Eighteen to even think of an engagement, the
which you may bet your boots she will, she will not Kick Up. Not like Some as I
could Mention.
Which brings us to Young Madam.
That Gaby Mr Prudence Knowles has fallen for her like the Ton he be. He is
forever a-haunting of The Towers Day and Night or would if I was to let him,
mufflers and all, presenting of little posies from his Ma’s garden and favours
what he must have rid over to Ditterminster to buy for there is not nothing
like them in the villages hereabout. At the least Daphne do not affeck him
right back the which I suppose is something to be Thankfull for but between you
and me, Jo, I cannot but feel that it might not be Prefferable. She has gone
and fallen for Lord Rockingham, of all creatures under the sun, he is Black as
Sin and any case has not never had eyes for no-one but his Gaetana since the
minute he first saw her, bless her. But
what we gets day and night is, Is not Lord R. wonderful Striking looking (I
deffy even young Madam to say he be a pretty fellow), and Do not he play the
Piano wonderful which we all knows but if she has half an ear I is yet to learn
of it, and Is not his wife the most fortunate woman in the world and La de da.
Morn till night, it is driving us all Distracked. Yesterday she comes out with,
if you please, Do he not dance wonderful? Rockingham! I never seen a man more
like a Stick on a dance floor, and so I says to Nan. She will maintain it is a
Cross to bear, well it be that all right. Moony! You never seed nothing like
it! Nan says she was ever like that, only it was used to be passionate
Freindships with other Girls her own age when she wore her curls down her back,
well that be sickening too says I, and Nan says Yes, she might have Guess’d.
But no-one could have Guess’d it would be Lord R.!
My love, this is atween you and
me, only Dorian too, out of course: the sad thing is it be very plain to me and
Nan that my poor Tim affecks the Brat. I never thought to see the Day when he
would go and fall for a chit like Daphne Baldaya with not two penn’orth of
Brain to rattle between her ears! And out of course he do not wish to look
Absurd by standing in Line after Mr Prudence not to say the fancy for the
Marquis of R.! I wish’d I had never asked her to stay when I seen him look at
her So, my poor Timmy. And to think we had it fix’d that he would come to
affeck Tarry, after all! Well, best laid plans, hey?
He stay’d for Easter like he
promiss’d but when he sees Madam a-mooning after his Lordship at the dratted
dance we was all Bidd to at Daynesford Place on the Saturday, he made up his
mind to get on back to Town, and left this very morning as ever was. Bapsee has
put her great Foot in it by telling him to his face Miss D. will grow out of
the Fancy for Lord R. I never seen poor Timmy so short with the Creature in his
life, you know he has the best of Tempers, my love. Not that she was not
a-Begging for it, for if I have said to her once I have said it an Hundred
times, the men does not like to be Told. But she must Always know Best. Not but
what in this instance she be right, out of course! All young girls takes these
odd fancies. But that do not mean Tim wishes to hear it from Her.
Meantime Cherry at the least is
in good heart, bless her, only a little nervous when she thinks that 1st. May is
not so long off, the which she has Fix’d on, do not ask Why, as the time she
will definite break it off with that Loon of a Noël. We has not seen hide nor
hair of him. I writt him but to no avail. Daresay he is jauntering all over
enjoying hisself regardless, well that is Noël and ever has been.
As for that Bobby! Not a sign
of him for months. Do not think me grown Fancifull in my old age, Jo deary, but
Catriona S. makes me think of one of them fragile flowers what droop their
heads a little and look like they is just waiting for the right Bee or
Butterfly to happen along, to perk up like nobody’s business! I can only Hope
and Pray that Bobby will stop to sip long and loving at her flower, drat the
man. If only we could Get him here!
Nan is cheerful as I writt in
my last, apart from when driven Distracked by Young Madam, and gets out for
plenty of country walks which has put the colour back in her cheeks. Did not
dance when we was at the Place, but the young men was pretty well at her feet
nonetheless, not to mention many that was older and should have been wiser.
Fortunate, she is not the type that would flirt desperate with a married man
under his wife's eye for mere Spite. Though I would not put it past her to do
it out of Boredom and then Regrett it. For her heart be in the right place.
Likewise everything else, which be more or less the trouble. There is not no
Eliggibles in these parts, as you know.
She is become very fond of
Cherry but there is a world of difference between a young woman what has been
twice widowed and has two children, and a provincial innocent like little
Cherry, never mind reading all them blessed books of theirs. Think I will take
her up to Town. We might take in a concert or some such even though the Season
be not yet begun. It may be a Distracktion.
Bapsee and Sita is getting on
like a house on fire, thank the Lord and all the Hindoo pantheon and Allah too,
so that is something I can stop worrying about.
Here Dorian and Johanna Kernohan looked at
each other and smiled very much: Mrs Urqhart was by no means either so ignorant
or so unlettered as she commonly made herself out to be.
Lord, here I have been boring
on for Sheetts, my love, and never an enquiry as to how you go on, and whether
that young Master Kernohan of yours be behaving of himself over his new teeth
or roaring like the Bull of Bashan which I has to admit, mine all did. Take
care of yourself, my love, and ignore every Word your Ma-in-law says on the
subjeck, for healthy exercise never did a young woman no harm when she be
Carrying and in my opinion, quite the Contrary. Nota Bene, Dare say I could get a Frank from the Marquis of R., he
is most obligging as you know, but land, will that mean I has to drive all the
way over to the Place with Miss D. moaning beside me in the carriage that she
is sure he will not be In, and support her sighs and groans over His Lordship's
eyes all the way back? I fear my Constitution cannot support even the mere
thought, and must beg yr. indulgence in the matter of the number of Sixpences
you will be obliged to pay for this!
I Remain, dearest Jo,
Ever your Loving,
Aunt Betsy Urqhart.
P.S. And you has my solemn Word, Miss Tarry will write her Mother
tomorrow morn without Fail. Or I am not, B.U.
Mrs Urqhart of course was as good as her
word and Tarry did pen a dutiful note to Mrs Henry the very next morning. The
which accomplished, she then set herself to the much more congenial task of
communication with Miss Kitty Hallam:
My Dearest Kitty,
You will never guess, we
attended a Ball at Daynesford Place on Easter Saturday! It is a Tradition, the
Marquis of Rockingham himself (!!) told me that in his late Grandpapa’s day
there was always a Ball on the Saturday at the Place! I wore my new pink gauze
with the three flounces and the palest pink ribbons and Mr Ainsley of Ainsley
Manor himself (!) told me I looked Ravishing in it!!
But you should have seen the
Marchioness!! White spider gauze, and she must be Full Twenty-Five if she be a
Day, you need never complain again of your Mamma forcing you to wear yours: for
I never saw anything less Childish in my life! Tho’ I do not deny the Hammond
Emeralds (!!!) helped! How I wish I had great dark eyes and auburn curls. Brown
hair is so ordinary.
Daphne wore white with a dark
blue velvet sash, her sister has said she may come out of her mourning for her
late brother-in-law. Personally I do not think the pearl necklace was entirely
appropriate for a girl of her age who is not really Out. However. Two rows,
very fine, though not overlong. It is her very own, not borrowed from Lady
Benedict. How I wish Mamma would let me wear more jewellery, it is ridiculous
the way she dresses me like a mere babe! You are Lucky that your Mamma is so
Broad-minded, Dear Kitty.
But to the Ball! Susan was in
white also, and really Far too young to be at such a Funxtion. However, as I
writ you in my last she has attracted the notice of a very eligible Parti and of course Lady B. brings her
forward. He was there and though, as you know, I cannot care for a fair man,
and besides he puts me horridly in mind of my Brother Roly, for he has no
conversation whatsoever, at least it meant she did not lack for a partner!
However, I am glad to say that nor did I and I danced every dance!! I had Mr
Ainsley for a pair of dances, and I swear to you, my love, dancing with him is
like dancing on a cloud! What a pity that he is married and quite old. Tho' of
course he is quite Short.
I danced also with Mr Urqhart,
but of course he does not count, he is my host and in any case he is too old.
That silly creature Bapsee swears he has conceived of a tendre for D.B., but I
cannot see it, myself. She is very pretty, of course, but the most vacuous
creature, and he is a sensible man, and old enough, very near, to be her Papa!
I wish I had her shoulders, it is all very well to say she is Short, but at the
least she is not flat!
You will never guess, dearest
Kitty, I danced with Commander Sir Arthur Jerningham! I think you have met my
brother-in-law “Gussie” Yelden’s amiable connexion Major Cecil Jerningham? The
Commander is his cousin and he said Oh, yes, the Major had spoken very well of
my Papa, and had mentioned me! I dare say that last was just Manners, but was
it not amiable of him? Dearest, he is the most Romantick figure imaginable!! I
dare say, fully six foot tall, with long, long, sea-blue eyes of the Deep-Water
man, and a deep, shivery voice that one feels in the very toes of one's
slippers! Of course he is quite old, but tremendously dashing, and only the
slightest touch of silver at the temples, which gives him such a distinguished
look! He was at Trafalgar as a young man, imagine!! You must ask your brother
Romney if he has met him, and whether he is very well thought of amongst the
Sea-going men, which I am sure he must be!
Aunt Betsy will maintain that
the Cmmdr. was very much struck with Lady B., but for myself, I could not see
it at all, he sat out but a mere pair of dances with her. –She did not dance,
and wore black silk. That odious old Mr Jerningham, the one who is the head of
that branch of the family, said that Lady B. in her plain black silk made every
other woman in the room look like dull pewter mugs before a golden goblet!
Horrid old creature, it was no such thing. And she is quite Short, besides.
The Dean of Ditterminster, Dr
Llewellyn-Jones, and his family were there in full force. His nephew is lately
come to stay. Personally I do not think a man in Holy Orders should dance, it
is not fitting. My flounce had become slightly torn when that silly Eric
Charleson bestowed a dance on me, and Mr Llewellyn-Jones had the impertinence
to say that the “Little rosebud” (that was Me) was “ever so slightly wilted”.
Really! Gross impertinence, and I did not give him another dance. And in any
case he is quite Old. He is supposed to be very Clever and his Uncle predicts
he will make his mark, or some such. But as he has a face like a cadaver it
will have to be by force of his great intelleck alone. His name is Ambrose
which is not Romantick, I find.
There was a house party at the
Place, only not very large, mostly Hammond relations, like horrid old Mr J. The
Cmmdr. was much the best of them. He is unmarried, by the by, and would he
would cast his Fishing-net my way! But I suppose I am considered too young for
him. At all events Aunt Betsy told me so to my Face but flattered me by saying
she was sure I would not make a Cake of myself over him. As a Certain D.B. is
doing over a Certain gentleman of Very Exalted Rank!!! I give you three
guesses! The clue is M. O. R. She made sheep's eyes at him all evening! I think her sister is
most displeased, and really, can one blame her? He did not favour her with a
dance. (!!) And he is not half so Romantick a figure as the Cmmdr. Not even as
Mr Ambrose Llewellyn-Jones.
The Supper was delightful, as
Aunt Betsy informs us it always is at the Place. Over it Mr Ambrose
Llewellyn-Jones paid particular attention to a Miss Marybelle Maddern, who is
the Marchioness’s cousin. I am sure if freckles are to his taste he is welcome
to them. Tho’ I do not think she understood more than one word in ten of what
he said to her. He is in Orders, as I said, but that does not excuse his saying
that Mr “Prissy” Knowles may not be in the wrong of it in advising me that
church twice of a Sunday would be beneficial to my Character. Miss Marybelle
laughed, she has a laugh like a horse.
The Marquis’s uncle was there,
an elderly gentleman, a Mr Throgmorton, he is said to be very well respected in
Society. He spoke most kindly after the Supper, saying that he was used to know
my Uncle, General Sir Francis Kernohan, very well, and asked to be remembered
to your Mamma, dearest Kitty, so pray convey this to her. I was in Dread lest
he should ask me to dance, for with such an elderly gentleman, you know—! But
he did not, he went to join Lady B. and Cherry. As to that, my dear, it is my
opinion that Mr Throgmorton is much épris
there, in despite of his Addvanced Age, tho’ Aunt Betsy will have it it is not
she, but Lady B. But no such thing: he sat by Cherry an age, and I do not think
my eyes were deceiving me when I say he held her hand! Later she said to me he
had spoken so kindly of her grandmamma, who was a great beauty in her day, and
said she has a great look of her! Tho’ she wore only a simple white muslin gown
with white ribbons and did not look anything Much by my estimation. She has no
presence.
The Marquis, by the way, was at
Lady B.’s feet after the supper, not literally but very much so metaphorically.
Aunt Betsy said it was a great compliment and they were talking of music, but
personally I thought it was to make them both something particular. Also Mr
Llewellyn-Jones, that will certainly not Advance him in the Church!
Well, dearest Kitty, it was all
very Thrilling and I cannot begin to describe the ranks of candelabra and the
vases of flowers in the ballroom. And flambeaux lining the drive all the way
from the gates, I dare swear it be fully two miles. Aunt Betsy laughed and said
that Lady R. must have let him have his head, meaning the Marquis, but to my
mind it was entirely Excellent and in great taste.
Home at last, very late, and
not even the rhapsodies of D.B. over the M. O. R. and the fine pearl pin he
wore in his neckcloth (!) could keep me from nodding off on the journey!
Indeed, we all did so and Cherry was so fast asleep that Aunt Betsy had a
footman carry her upstairs. She said she would wager her miraculous pearls that
the poor little thing had never been up so late in her Life: I was very much
Struck and thought of my dearest Papa’s wonderful Christmas Eve Party that I
have attended every year since I was fifteen and made up my mind that I will do
my utmost to be Charitable and a friend to her and not Envious of her having
caught a great Town Beau. I have started this very day and have lent her my
Coral Pin which Uncle Francis gave me.
We must have a Pact, my love,
that we shall take her up and never be Horrid about her again. And I dare say
Jenny may be in it, too, but only if she will swear a Solemn Undertaking.
Hoping this reaches you as it leaves me,
I remain, Dearest Kitty,
Your faithful Friend,
Tarragona Kernohan.
P.S. Would that T.K. might one day change to T.J.!!
Miss Kitty Hallam might perhaps, on reading
this missive over, have been excused for wondering if the last sentiment
expressed should not rather read “Would that T.K. might one day change to T.
L.-J.” For on second and certainly on third and fourth reading, there did seem
to be somewhat unnecessary emphasis on the cadaverous Mr Ambrose
Llewellyn-Jones. Even if the writer did not seem quite conscious of it.
The weather continued alternately rainy
with high winds, and fine and sunny but still windy. Nan, it was clear to the
sapient Mrs Urqhart, became more and more restless as the days warmed. Susan’s
romance progressed: young Mr Charleson spoke humbly to Nan and though she did
not feel she could give her permission for him to pay his addresses in form, it
being far too soon and Susan being by far too young, she did encourage him to
hope, and advised him that later it would be the correct thing for him to write
to Sir Everard Benedict. The humble Mr Charleson was very much pleased with
this gracious response, it being more than he had expected, really, though of
course he had hoped! Nan also spoke privily to Susan, ascertaining what she
could see for herself, that she was beginning to care for him.
Daphne turned very jealous, not because she
admired the pink-cheeked, yellow-haired Mr Charleson herself, but because Susan
had a beau and she did not. Though her relatives and friends assured her that
she did, and she might expect an offer from Mr “Prudence” Knowles any day now,
so long as the day were not too windy for him to embark on the perilous ride
from his home, all of two miles distant! Naturally the Marquis of Rockingham
remained virtually unaware of Daphne's existence. It was true that she would
have been horridly disconcerted had it been otherwise, but nevertheless she was
not in the best of moods. Mrs Urqhart was driven to speak to her straitly but
this resulted only in floods of self-pitying tears and prolonged sulks.
Cherry was happy at The Towers, the more so
as there was no sign of Sir Noël Amory. Then a letter came. Very properly
Cherry handed this to her kind hostess and chaperone. Mrs Urqhart, noting the
propriety of this gesture, handed it back, saying she was no snoop and Cherry
was a grown woman. –The which courtesy was almost entirely disingenuous: she
had an idea it would do Cherry no harm to start considering herself as a grown
woman. After carefully perusing the missive, which was quite short, Cherry
decided she must write to him, and sought Mrs Urqhart’s permission to do so.
Mrs Urqhart raised no objection to the suggestion that she herself would of
course wish to see the letter before it was dispatched: grown woman or no, she
had a feeling it might be wiser if she was forewarned, in this instance.
Dear Sir Noël, wrote Cherry, with much anxious frowning and biting of her
pen,
Mrs Urqhart has very kindly
said I may reply to your letter myself. It was kind in you to write me. I was
very glad to hear that things are going so well upon your estates and that Mr
Lysle Whittaker and his family are gone from your home at last.
At this point she stopped, chewing on the
pen more than ever. She did not feel these remarks were at all suited to the
tone she wished to take with him or the true subject of her letter, but it
would have been most impolite not to reply to what he had written. Oh, dear.
Thank you for your kind enquiry
about Pug Chalfont. He is very well and grown very big: you would hardly know
him. He chases the birds upon Mrs Urqhart's lawn and will not learn that he
will never catch them. Albert is spoiling him dreadfully and saves little
tidbids from dinner for him, even though I have told him what you said about
over-feeding being very bad for a dog and in especial Pugs. I am careful to
exercise him a lot, as you advised. The children often accompany me and we have
had some fine walks. The countryside is grown very pretty with all the trees
now decked in their spring foliage.
We saw the Marquis of
Rockingham just recently at a grand ball he gave at his house: he spoke to me
very kindly and asked to be remembered to you. He was so funny about the
violets which were very profuse in the hedgerows around Lower Dittersford at
that time, and said that their Daynesford violets are known to be so much
earlier, with such a quizzical look in his eye! I could not but like him, even
though just at the first he strikes one as very—
Cherry broke off in dismay, looking at what
she had written. Oh, dear: she was rattling on, wasting Mrs Urqhart's
writing-paper, and not saying at all what she had meant to! She took a deep
breath and dipped her pen in the ink again.
—grim. But enough of that, I
did not mean to rattle on. Except to say that your Aunt Betsy has been so very,
very kind and I do not deserve it at all.
Dear Sir Noël, you write so
kindly but you say nothing of what you know we agreed upon, that this
ridiculous pretence at an engagement must come to an end by this May at the
latest.
She paused. Would saying “ridiculous” imply
to a reader that she thought the whole idea of a lady’s being engaged to him
was so? It read so badly, but she could not think of how to improve it. And she
must not waste dear Mrs Urqhart’s writing-paper: it would have to stand.
I am not at all sure how to go
about it. I think I should write to your Mamma myself, for she has been so kind
to me. However, should you feel the news would be better coming from you, pray
inform me of the fact without delay.
Cherry read over this last paragraph with
an expression of dismay on her face. It sounded so... hectoring? Something of
the sort. She took a deep breath.
Naturally I shall inform my own
mother that we have decided not to continue with the engagement. I have already
told Merry and June that it was a pretence. I think I should also write to
advise Dean Witherspoon and Uncle Ketteridge that it is broken off, since they
have taken an interest in the matter.
Would you care to advise your
kind relatives in Bath? I should be most happy to write the news to dear
Delphie and Colonel Amory, if you wish me to. Otherwise, I shall write to them
a little later to express my gratitude for all their kindness towards me and my
deepest apologies for having wilfully deceived them. As also to your
Grandmother.
If the First of May should suit
you, I shall write my letters then.
Pray accept the assurance of my
deepest gratitude for the generosity and nobility of your actions, Sir Noël,
and believe me,
Ever your most sincere friend,
Cherry Chalfont.
Cherry looked glumly at this effort. It
would have to do, for she could not for the life of her see how to better it.
The valediction was dreadful: it suggested that she had had the impertinence to
class herself as his friend! Yet she did not wish him to assume that she
harboured unfriendly thoughts towards him. But “Ever your most devoted” would
most definitely not have done. It would have been both absurd and, really, a
slap in the face.
She girded up her loins and went bravely to
beard Mrs Urqhart in her den.
That sapient lady eyed her narrowly but
said only: “Hm. Well, it is up to you, me deary. And if you feel you won’t
suit, that is all there is to be said about it.”
When Cherry had taken herself off Mrs
Urqhart stared into space for some considerable time.
All she finally said, however, as Bapsee
bustled in fussing, was: “Drat him. But it ain’t over yet.”
Dear Nobby, wrote Mina, tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth in
deepest concentration,
And Horrible and Georgey and
Everyone. Mamma says I may write you. Mrs Urkit has given me her own writting
paper. We are well. I trust you are all well also. It is raining. Mrs Urkit
gives us splendid food. Miss Gump is come back. She says we will start lessons
again direckly. Her neice had a smart black bonnet. I would not like to be
married in a black bonnet. Would you? We went for a walk. We saw a man on a
black horse. Cherry says it was the Marquis of Rockingham. That is how you
spell Marquis. Tell Freddy. Mr Ambrose Loowelin-Jones drives a trap. Tarry says
he has a face like a corps. Mamma says he is smiling underneeth. I do not think
a person can smile underneeth. Do you? Susan has got a bow. His name is Eric
Charleson. He has got a currycall. It is very fine. He says Pug Chalfont is a
fine dog. Yesterday Pug caught a great Rat. Dafny screemed. But it was dead
when he brought it in. So there was no point in screeming. Nurse and Polly have
come back. Nurse says Rosebud has grown. But she looks the same to me. Johnny
can say more words now. Ranjeet and Richpall and Krishner have gone to the
house in Bath. Rannee has come back.
You do not know Mrs Stewart.
She is here too. She is most aggreeabble. Her brother is the greatest Eater in
the world. Once he Ett Five Great Pies at a sitting. I wager Freddy could not
nor Mendozza neether. 2d. Georgey is to write it.
Today we are to have meat curry
to our dinner. It is called kormer curry. Bappsee says it is spescial. Amrita
says she has had it affore. An hundred times. But I expeck that is one of her
Lies. Mamma and Mrs Urkit are to go to London. Amrita says it is very big and
they will get lost. She is a great Baby. In any evvent Mr Urkit will look after
them.
I wager Pug Chalfont is grown
bigger than Pug Laidlaw. 3d. When we come home we will meazure them. Albert
says we might way them against a pile of potatos. Who ways the most potatos
wins. Albert is the footman. Mrs Urkit says he eats her out of house and home.
But it is still standing!!
Hoping this finds you as it leaves me,
I remain, dear Nobby,
Your devoted Freind,
Wilhelmina Benedict.
P.S. We like The Towers. I would like a house just like it.
P.P.S. Mrs Urkit has an Elephant’s Foot!! It stands in the hall. Not a Lie.
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